I think this is my fault. I didn't look after myself this weekend. I took on more than I could handle and ended up with no quiet time. This illness requires much solitude and quiet time, in order to survive in the normal world. It's like being a dedicated musician, it takes hours of practice.
I got less than 4.5 hours sleep last night, after taking a Stillnox and Valium. I'm off the mood-stabilisers - Doc is giving me one week to get non manic, if I'm still manic next Tuesday we're going to try a low dose of some anti-psychotic drug instead. Haven't been on those since the 90s in the UK. I lived there for quite a while. Then they gave me ten times the recommended dose just to shut me up and get me to sleep then (I guess excess dose cos I was comatose and walking, just).
This woman is not me, but I know where she may be coming from!
Had such a major psychotic episode then I was in hospital for months. Feels like yesterday. I'd be sad about it but I'm feeling pretty happy. Up, up, up. :P
I work at staying out of loony bins. But sometimes, the temptation to give in to the insanity is very tempting. A son of a friend of the family is in hospital. He went in a few days ago. Same illness, major episode. He's young, hopefully he'll learn how to manage eventually. It takes practice.
That's for sure.
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